Skye is a member of the Sutton Trust COSMO Youth Panel.
Covid was a challenge both emotionally, and academically, and its impacts still affect me today.
As a perfectionist, I Iike to have control over my life, so the turmoil in the world was hard to adjust to. Not being in school or seeing friends or family at all was a difficult change to get used to and was a struggle. Even before the restrictions had reached their peak, it was a fearful time. I was worried that I’d make my granny sick with the virus. I was a germaphobe anyway and felt anxious as I had no control over whether this was something that would happen or not.
When restrictions first happened, my feelings were mixed. As an introvert, I’d quite happily choose not to go out, but suddenly not being able to made me feel trapped. A healthy work to leisure time was also a struggle. Working in your bedroom makes it hard to relax!
Disruption to learning
When schools were closed, I had all of my lessons online, which were a mixed bag. Some subjects that I was more confident in like English were actually fun online and my grades were never of concern to me. However, the sciences were really difficult online, we missed practicals and having hard concepts explained over online calls didn’t give me much confidence. Luckily for me my French grade didn’t slip but trying to do that on a call was a nightmare, especially the speaking exam aspects, but we just about managed!
GCSEs were something that I was taking very seriously, as I had aspirations for Cambridge and was aiming very high. However, my mental health wasn’t the best that it could be – I was uncertain about the future and was feeling powerless about exams and seeing the people I cared about. It was overwhelming. My sleep schedule was disrupted and I was on edge. My coping mechanisms weren’t healthy, as I turned to things like food for control which was an issue I was already struggling with.
Because of this disruption and the impact of the pandemic, to an extent, I have changed my plans for the future. I decided not to apply to Cambridge as the stress was too much. Some of my grades, whilst not bad, weren’t what I had wanted. It was the right call to make, and I’m still aspiring for top universities, just not Oxbridge. Overall, as a person I feel much less safe or secure in my abilities as a result of the pandemic. We missed so much school that I still get worried that this will translate to my A Levels, although I’m working hard to make sure that this isn’t the case.
As for my family and friends – many have changed over the course of the pandemic and the time that followed. Some had and continue to have poorer mental health. Fortunately, however, during the pandemic no immediate loved ones became ill with the virus. We did have an unexpected loss in the family, and due to restrictions we were unable to go to the funeral. That was hard – one of the many things the virus impacted.
Moving forward
Despite all of this there were positives of lockdown. I had more freedom to do work in the evenings which worked best for me, if I worked efficiently my work day could be much shorter. It was nice that if I ever needed a break, I was also free to do so! Generally, I felt isolated, but friendships kept going and my friendship group had regular calls to check in. There was never much to talk about but we all felt that if a friendship could survive a global pandemic it’d be a lasting one.
It feels good to finally have control over my life again. The journey to my A levels has certainly been disrupted, but I will not let the pandemic get in the way of my future.